Life is weird.

When you look at other people’s lives and sometimes feel like yours is just in the crapper, some things just may surprise you. Not necessarily in the good way, I’m not saying that I’m happy to hear these things happening as I wouldn’t wish such unhappiness upon someone. It’s just weird the unexpecting turns life will take right in front of your eyes.

For instance, about a year ago, I heard about five different engagement stories in one day … and despite the fact that I don’t feel self-conscious for being single, hearing five different couples getting engaged all in the same day can really bring you down. It just makes you think, ok so what have I been doing wrong here to yet be engaged?

Ironically, one of those engaged couples broke up a few weeks after … the two went through breaking up, getting back together, and the girl finally realizing that there was no point in this engagement. The two didn’t get back together ever since.

And then, about two days ago, one of my friends who got married when she was like 22 told me that she was splitting with her husband. She explained that there were a lot of things she discovered about her husband that she hadn’t been aware of previously … or I guess, they just got married too early. Last night, for New Year’s celebrations, she and I along with several other friends, went out to the New Orleans Riverwalk to watch the New Year’s fireworks. Afterwards, we hit up the club in the casino and towards the end of the night, I noticed that this girl was just plain wild!! In a sense, it seemed like she didn’t get an opportunity to let this all out in her early to mid twenties …. it was the most unexpecting sight for me to see.

I guess I’m saying this because every now and then, I’ll see other people and feel like the grass is greener on the other side. I’ve been feeling lonelier lately while everyone else is pairing up around me and moving on. I mean, it’s only natural, people’s lives change, we can’t expect ourselves to be stagnant in the same spot. Tis one of the reasons how life can get rough on you. I am also too proud to be able to admit this to anyone, especially my couple friends and well … the guy I’m sort of seeing/not really sure what’s going on with. I’m just not the type to express my vulnerable side to people.

Not to blame anyone for moving on, I wish only the greatest happiness for all my friends in their lives. Every time I feel worn out from my own life because I envy someone else’s, I sometimes have to remind myself, what may work out for someone else may not exactly fit me.

Be careful for what you wish for, essentially.

Sigh …. being single is hard. Yet I’ve told myself, just because I don’t have what someone else may have, I won’t ever pressure or play myself down. I’ve never been happier for where I am now, I don’t need to be jealous of what I don’t have … because in truth, there really is nothing that I don’t have. I’ve never been happier to be alive.

On a brighter note (hehe, sorry to start this post in such a downer fashion), Happy New Year 2010 everyone!!!

It is the year of the tiger ^^


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