Friends.

It’s just interesting to see how one person can have such a multitude of friends. Their opinions will differ on various subjects, and there will be those whom you feel like you can click on every level and some you may have some trouble getting along with at times.

I have one friend whom I’d have to say has come about to be one of my closer friends throughout medical school. Yet as the years progressed, she became engaged while I continued to lead the single life. She has begun to go down the road of domestication to some aspect while I continue to lead my life as a nomad (sort of).

When I think of it now, I recall how first year of medical school we had some clashes. Not big fights or anything but there were moments I’d feel a bit uncomfortable being around her … or at least outcompeted, something to that effect. I still feel it every now and then possibly due to our diverging characteristics. I still highly enjoy her company though and would not exchange her for anyone else.

However, I do have to admit … we are not two who click on every level. She definitely has the tendency to be more tactful and polite with others whereas I tend to come off as more goofy or maybe even a bit cold on first impression. However, as you get to know me more, I tend to come off as the puppylike character while this friend of mine continues to maintain propriety.

I’ll be honest here, sometimes her heavy tendency to be proper can really get to me. Sometimes I just wanna be like, let’s forget about those things and just be comfortable with one another. It reminds me of a time when I was younger and was studying in Korea to get my driver’s license, I stayed with one of my aunts – my mom’s cousin to be exact – and she commented on how I was so formal with everything. It wasn’t a bad thing I suppose but to her it didn’t feel very warm …. I still remember those words to this day. And as much as it is essential to have a certain level of propriety, I think too much can really get in the way of really feeling close to someone. It’s like you’re still walking on eggshells with someone you’ve known for years.

Sigh … with this really laid back rotation, I’ve been having a lot of free time in the days. In the process, I’ve been planning out my cousin’s trip down south and also been working on residency application stuff. Scary to think I’m not far from becoming a full fledged M.D.!!! And every other chance I get, I just rewatch Sex and the City over and over again. I don’t know, something about that show, just makes me feel proud to be the woman that I am hehe. =D

Today while I was at student clinic, one of the underclass people told me how she noticed some girls in her class would pressure their boyfriends into getting engaged and whatnot and that she just didn’t believe it was the greatest idea to force someone to marry them. She asked a fourth year student if he had plans to do so with his girlfriend and he honestly replied, “When I hear that kind of stuff, I let it through one ear and out the other.” To that I responded, “When the guy is ready, he’ll do it.” Haha, to this the fourth year student applauded.

In all honesty, I still believe in that statement. At this age, I’m just too exhausted to put myself out there and run the risk of getting myself hurt. Rather, I’d like to just shed off all expectations and live my life for what it is and enjoy it while I can. I don’t want to lose sight of the important things in my life; family, friends, a great career, and just the joy of being able to experience all this.

Gack, it must be the Sex and the City that makes me constantly talk about my life, relationships, etc. Oh, another exciting thing, I got my first issues of Vogue and Elle magazines in the mail!! Muhahahaha … the perks of having leftover miles from flying, it’s just so awesome. I also have subscribed to the Economist as well.

Ok … enough with the random blabbering. Except for one more thing.

My friend back in college whom I saw over Thanksgiving told me she conducted some sort of personality algorithm test or something to determine the type of character she is. And from it she learned that people learn to adjust to various situations but when put in a situation they are heavily not comfortable with, they tend to not be able to shine their strongest aspects and it becomes more difficult to see them as the great people they are. Rather, it is crucial for people to be able to take themselves out of that state of being vulnerable and defensive and back into a state where their personality shines to its fullest. I have to constantly remind myself of this whenever I feel myself getting weary of the push and pulls of life and those around me.

That’s when a nap can come in quite handy. 😉

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