Seasonal affective disorder

I swear I think I have it.

I’m noticing as we enter summer, my mood has been, quite majority of the time, uplifted and almost straddling the lines of being hyper. I feel more energetic, I want to go out more, be more active, now that I actually have the time and the weather to enjoy it in!! Though I have to say, the humidity in this city can really drive me up the wall … and make me not wanna go outside. Still, it’s not as depressing as not being able to go outside because you have 10 feet of snow staring back at you that you know won’t go away for the next 5 months.

I’ve been crazy active on FB, just seeing what other people are up to and commenting up a crazy storm …. not really exposing anything in particular, just saying hi here and there, commenting on what others are up to and whatnot. It’s really weird … it’s been a while since I’ve felt this energetic and enjoying everything.

Last night, I went out to Harrah’s in this city with my roommate and her bf. It was fun as it had been a while since my roommate and I had gone out together. Lately, with my new interest in learning poker, I ended up causing my roommate’s bf to have an itch to play last night. I am still not ready to hit the tables yet but wouldn’t mind practicing a bit.

So basically I tried a slot machine last night with a little buzz in my system. I’ve never really tried one before but was feeling explorative. I only bet $10 and ended up winning $5. It was that moment, that feeling of winning something I thought was very, very dangerous …. because it felt incredibly good even though it was just five bucks. I could see it getting easily addicting. No wonder my friends continue to tell me to never play the tables drunk or with any alcohol in your system because your judgment gets seriously cloudy and you forget the value of the money you’re putting in there. I’m just glad I realized this last night and I was rambling onto my roommate standing next to me to make sure I don’t try anything at any other tables and that we go straight to the club that was – conveniently – located inside the casino.

I then saw an old resident I worked with on my internal medicine rotation. It had been almost about a year (well I exaggerate … I still saw him around the hospital every now and then) since I’d last seen him and it was really fun catching up on things with him that weren’t entirely work related (I guess sort of but we never got around to doing much small talk when working on the wards). He then joined me, my roommate, and her bf to get some post outing pizza and we came around to the discussion of how I noticed that I get depressed during the winter seasons and it’s become pretty significant recently. He said jokingly, “Maybe you have seasonal affective disorder.” Seasonal affective disorder basically is a syndrome of depression people get with the change of seasons. It doesn’t seem to call for medication treatment and it sounds like something seen commonly (heck I seem to have it). So it made me realize that maybe I should really ponder deeply on how much I would like the idea of spending my life in a city where it snows 7 months out of the year and I have to deal with wearing boots during that entire time.

As for now, I’m really enjoying this sweltering, summer weather. It reminds me of monsoon season in Korea (which I miss tremendously right now as right around this time, I start making plans to go home) and the fact that it’ll be raining this entire week makes me miss it even more so.

Just to give you an idea of the images that go through my mind these days 😀


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