So this summer, as I didn’t have the time off to go home, my mother came to stay with me for 3 weeks. She ended up leaving me with an internet phone which I could use to call home and be charged the same rates as if I were in the city and making calls. Ironically, it hit me last night that I could use it to call my old high school and middle school friends as well.
So I got tremendously excited and tried phoning one of them … unfortunately, all my friends’ cell numbers had changed and the most recent ones were all stored in my cell phone at home (home meaning 1000 miles across the Pacific, sitting in a high school girls’ bedroom with blue wallpaper in a tall skyscraping apartment building) so I had no idea how to get in contact with them … except for one.
At the thought of this, I got tremendously excited and tried calling her. Unfortunately, the phone began to act up and I couldn’t hear a dial tone or anything. But it seems that I got through to her because she tried calling me back. In the end, we found out we could successfully text each other too!! It was such a heartwarming discovery …. and I’d never felt closer to my old friends as I did at that time.
Unfortunately, for me, ever since college, I’ve lived this life apart from my family and old friends in order for me to pursue the career I want. Now I’ve come to realize that none of this would have been possibly without these people around me. I have ways of communicating with friends over the internet but it just isn’t the same as texting/calling each other as if we were living in the same city. Don’t get me wrong, I also am tremendously grateful for all the friendships I’ve made while I have been in the States too but you also cannot forget all the other people you’ve lived your life with … especially since middle school!!
And just with that phone … just seeing the possibility of the text messages being exchanged, I felt so much closer to home. I didn’t realize it when my mom first gave me the phone but just to have something that familiar sit right next to me in my bedroom made me feel like I was in Seoul again.
There have been times when I’ve wondered if I did make the best decision to leave my family so far behind when I can barely see them, where a 1 hour trip to see a relative is actually quite impossible, in order to do what I want to do?
And when I think back, if I hadn’t left …. wouldn’t I have itched to leave anyway? Wouldn’t I have still wondered and wanted to know what my life would have been like if I’d returned to the U.S.? I definitely think it would have …. I recall when I found out where I was going for college, I was extremely excited, I couldn’t stop daydreaming about returning to the States and living the college life … and I most certainly did.
So, no, I don’t regret any moment of my life I’ve lived … and I will continue to move forward in such a fashion. All I know of now is that, I know where I stand, I know who I am, and I know what I want to do with the rest of my life.