A fresh start.

Sooo … last night I attended a medical school function party at one of the clubs here in New Orleans largely because my roommate has performed at every single show except for last year’s so as moral support, I have always been there to watch her. The night started out with just a few drinks and of course, I hit quite the level of intoxication though I had not intended on doing so (isn’t that how it always goes? O the curse of being such a lightweight …). As the previous person I’d been dating was to be a part of the band performing, I didn’t realize that my other ex would present himself at the party as well. Let me just say … wow, this city is too small. As much as I love New Orleans, I just feel that no matter where I go, the chances of me running into bad memories will be fairly high. Though I’d managed to dodge that bullet for a while, now that I’ve truly moved on, that’s when I actually run into him. Lucky for the both of us, he had no intention of misleading me on (maybe he didn’t the first time either but realized he did) nor did I have any desire in a reunion for old times’ sake.

It’s just moments like these that give me the urge to want to move away, somewhere new to start afresh, just a completely blank slate. I feel like depending on certain areas I go around in the city, I get haunted by the memories that I wish wouldn’t surface. Yet the human brain does not seem to function that way … if you haven’t been somewhere in a while and you present yourself to it, the bad memories always surface first and it takes effort to really dig down for all the good moments that happened … why is that? When I initially returned to NOLA from Korea, the first things I recalled were the bad times I had with an ex ….. as much as I’d had awesome memories as well (in this city I mean). I know I’m over it all and have moved on but I still can’t seem to avoid the resurfacing of moments that I don’t need to recall.

And of course there was my other ex at the party last night. My gosh … I think I’ve consumed all the male “resources” within this city I can handle. Enough is enough … I’m ready for a fresh start in a new place …. we shall see how things go in a year because (o yea) I’m so becoming a doctor.

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One thought on “A fresh start.

  1. Kristina says:

    As much as I would like to say just move, get a fresh start in a residency somewhere else, escape, start over, etc…unfortunately you are always going to create memories, good ones as well as bad ones, that you won’t be able to escape, wherever you go. In a sense, what I’m trying to say is one can’t outrace one’s memories. Eventually we all have to face them and deal with them, unpleasant though they may be. I don’t mean to sound preacher-ish or anything but as your friend who loves you dearly, I know you already know this, but I just had to say it. Because I love you. And I have the bad habit of offering advice when it is not requested. So sue me. 😉

    That being said, get the hell outta New Orleans if you want to! There are perfectly good reasons to move somewhere else, just make sure they’re the right reasons. 🙂

    Love you. Miss you. Hope you’re well!

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