So I just submitted a huge packet of information to apply for a research project approval at my school. I’m actually very excited as this is the farthest I’ve ever gone before with carrying out research in any form. The funny thing is up till a few months ago, I was in a totally different place from where I am now. At that time, I felt as though everything around me was spiraling downhill and I may never be able to find a way to climb back up to the top of the hole I’d been digging myself into. All just felt despairing to me and I felt as though my future had no definite direction in sight … or at least, I had extreme fears of bringing about what I wanted. I felt as though I’d lost control to everything.
And now, I’ve accomplished way more than I’d hoped to. I mean, of course, there was a plan set and I had an idea of how this time off was going to be well spent towards my advantage but now that it is actually happening, I am totally speechless. I just do hope the grant I applied for swings in my direction (I would like some cash support here please!! Calling of a poor medical student …) and all goes smoothly … I can’t believe it’s taking flight!! And the fact that I sat down this weekend and just wrote, wrote, wrote …. nearly about 4 straight hours. I was so ansy today after I’d submitted everything that I made a trip to the mall and bought some flirty spring clothes (largely in anticipation of my trip to Boston in May …. though it still might be a bit nippy up there for what I purchased …. in that case, I have plenty of days to wear it here!!) I guess sort of as a reward to myself. 😉 You gotta celebrate somehow, no?
Literally, spring had exploded all over Forever 21 as the store had redone their inventory and by golly, did I get there in time to find some decently fitting spring outfits!! It was the only store I ended up going to (the rest were moreso because I was on a mission to find a three quartered sleeved white cardigan that wasn’t too beyond my budget) as it had everything I’d been longing for throughout this spring fever. Can you believe it’s already mid April?! And I still feel like I just got back from Korea …. it’s funny how much things have changed since then and yet I still feel like the same person.
And another revelation I’ve realized about myself. I really do enjoy writing …. tremendously. I’m not exactly the most eloquent writer nor do I have an extensive vocabulary to be able to vary up my sentences (I tend to use the same words 5 times within the same paragraph … that’s when a thesaurus comes in handy). I recently submitted an essay to an essay contest done by one of the medical student societies (forget the name). And I noticed that I do love to write.
As you can see, this blog has been in many ways my go-to place I can rely on when things are getting rough. I was never a journalism major in college nor did I take any journalism classes but when I recall, I did enjoy writing poems and short stories as a child …. some poems in high school as well (though I have to say, personal statements were always tough). I don’t tend to follow any particular style …. I just go with what I feel and isn’t that the purpose of writing sometimes?
Either way, I just would like to say I’m in a better place right now than I ever was before. Just a few months ago, I felt like an extreme failure, the idea of trying to get through everyday life just felt so burdensome to me. However, as I continued to maintain the courage to push forward, things started to fall back into place and I’m glad that I never gave up and I had my friends and family to support me when things seemed like they were going to fall apart forever.
Next up, I will present to you my new BookBook acquired from a giveaway at Pretty Shiny Sparkly !! Along with the flirty flouncy outfits I got from Forever 21 (can’t guarantee the quality of the photos though). 😉
You know, I have a good feeling things will come together and work out well. I know they truly will ….